The Brett Favre Saga: Here we go again

Oh, old man Favre, what has become of you? Remember when you were the good ole’ boy, who would play the game for free out of pure love? Remember when John Madden would slobber all over you like a St. Bernard whenever you completed a pass to Donald Driver despite double coverage? Remember how you cried when you talked about walking away from football to ride off into the Mississippi sunset aboard your John Deere?

Well, those days seem like a lifetime ago. Because now we know that you’re contemplating your third team in as many years, John Madden has retired and I’m sick and tired of seeing you blubber like a baby on national television. No, old man Favre, now we know that you are a vindictive, egomaniacal athlete just like everybody else. You used to be on the opposite end of the spectrum from guys like Terrell Owens and Alex Rodriguez. And now? T.O. should be offering you PR tips.

I was one of those who fell under your spell years ago. I loved watching you jump into the arms of one of your linemen every time you completed a touchdown pass. When your dear old dad died and you decided to make your next start, I was happy for you as trashed my beloved Oakland Raiders on national television. But Packers General Manager Ted Thompson has revealed your true identity. You cried wolf, claiming you’d retired after hinting at it for years. And Thompson moved on, deciding that poor Aaron Rodgers finally deserved the chance to claim his spot as the rightful heir to Lambeau’s throne.

And predictably, you came back. But Thompson and Head Coach Mike McCarthy had already made their choice, and you decided to put on a different shade of green in New York. Seeing you in the green and white of the Jets was like seeing Joe Namath in a Rams uniform, but I forgave you. You played brilliantly for a while, then faded down the stretch like so many guys past their prime do. Then you retired again, this time without a tearful press conference; just a simple e-mail to ESPN reporters. We thought it was finally over. Warm up the John Deere.

But now its May - you’ve had months to ponder the rest of your life as a regular citizen, and you seem to be getting antsy. Many people think you’re still angry about Thompson locking you out of the franchise, and are thirsty for revenge against the Pack. Your recent actions seem to support that idea: You’re reportedly meeting with Vikings coach Brad Childress, contemplating a return to the field wearing (I can’t believe I’m typing this) PURPLE AND WHITE? How could you return again, and this time with a long-time rival? Even some Vikings fans are appalled, with one fan blog calling this Favreageddon. It’s like Troy Aikman suiting up for the Redskins! Peyton Manning under center for the Patriots! Or even John Elway throwing it deep for the Raiders! Shudder…

You’ve gone too far this time, old man Favre. Whether you end up playing for Minnesota or not (my money’s on a return), the legacy is officially tarnished. You should have quit while you were still ahead. All I know is, I’ll never buy another pair of Wranglers.