Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ichiro: I'm too sexy for home runs

By Fernando Gallo

Everyone’s favorite slap-hitter, Ichiro Suzuki, was featured in a New York Times article on Saturday, and although I tend to stay away from that elitist snob-fest, this story was too good to pass up. It discusses Ichiro’s many talents, but also has a priceless quote from the king of the first 90 feet.
“Chicks who dig home runs aren’t the ones who appeal to me,” he said. “I think there’s sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I’d rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out.”
As a fan of true baseball, and not just ‘roid-induced home run derby-style games, I can respect the value of singles and infield hits. But calling infield hits sexy? Wishful thinking there, Ichiro. For proof, look no further than a man Ichiro is so often compared to, Pete Rose. “Charlie Hustle” was many things: A great hitter, gritty competitor, gambling manager - but certainly not sexy. But hey, maybe I’m wrong: You be the judge on that one.

For all of his accomplishments, Ichiro is still just a glorified lead-off man. He has speed, defense and the ability to hit for average, but he doesn’t walk nearly enough (even though his batting average is third-best in the majors, his on-base percentage is 27th) and he’s only reached double-digit home runs twice over his nine-year career. There are always rumors that Ichiro has great power in batting practice, but simply chooses not to utilize it in order to get more hits. But what Mariners fan wouldn’t trade in a 30-point drop in Ichiro’s average in order to get some more home runs? Since 2002, the Mariners haven’t ranked higher than 18th in the majors in team home runs - coincidentally, guess when the last time they made the playoffs was?

You may find some chicks that dig you, Ichiro, but October clearly digs the long ball. By the way, what do you care about chicks, anyway - you're married! Who do you think you are, Andrei Kirilenko?

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